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  • Writer's pictureChloe Chandarh

How To Sit With Problems

Flower in vase

As humans we have a tendency to jump to fix the problem and provide solutions immediately, rather than thinking them through. As if the goal is to get rid of the problem as soon as humanly possible.

I have found that in some situations, jumping to fix the problem is a reaction to not being able to handle the emotional build up of the problem. We can sometimes connect our feelings to the problem and unconsciously decide that getting rid of the problem will correlate with our emotions being in balance again ergo, fix the problem asap and we will be happy again (in the most basic sense).

It can be unhealthy to attach our feelings to the outcome of problems, because if the solution never goes the way we want, surely we will get more miserable, stressed and overwhelmed. However, if we could have more stress resilience and emotional regulation to not jump to fix the problem, we would have less stress, feel empowered to deal with difficult situations and feel comfortable with problems rather than overwhelmed, like you can't move things forward.

Just because we cannot see our emotions does not mean they do not exist. Like, we make time to talk out and create solutions for the tangible problem, we should also make time and talk out our feelings too; not necessarily to be fixed but to observe, understand and learn how to process them to be a more balanced, at peace and happy individual.

Start by asking yourself, with no judgement, one or all of these questions: how do I feel about this? why do I feel this way? is this emotion my task to deal with or somebody else's? why have my emotions cropped up inside of me this way?

Observing your emotions as a third person and being curious about what crops up inside of you, can support you in having so much more clarity on the external problem. Rather than being clouded by emotion, you can delve in and deal with your emotions and separate them from the external problem you are facing.This allows you to move through the external problem with more efficiency and pragmatically, therefore overcoming stress and issues quicker. Who doesn't want this?

This process takes practice, but once learnt can really help you become so much more resilient to emotional problems, people and events. It can also help you show up as a better mother, father, brother, sister, family member, friend, co-worker ect.


If you would like to deal with life's problems with more resilience then working with me 1:1 will support you in becoming a more empowered and balanced person. Together, we will look at your specific problems that occur in your life, so we can transform them into positives and you can level up. Contact me here to book a free discovery call.


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